“Y’know, I blame Beyoncé for everything that go wrongs in my life. It’s somethin’ about her songs that will make you think, first of all, that you are a size 4, that you can conquer the world and that, I don’t know, you are all powerful. Do you think Beyoncé has a song for the people who cain’t find jobs? Or the interview that you didn’t do so well in? Do she sing songs about that?”—
“Ellen just kissed Seacrest and told him he “didn’t have a snowball’s chance” lol… I dunno… i think Seacrest would make a good looking woman …. i wouldn’t do her, but none the less”—another awesome text from my brother.
“we’re not supposed to eat people we love. that’s just a thing, right?… we’re a class, it would be weird to eat each other. it’s just not done. it’s just not the way we move.”—my “lazy teacher who forgets to look up shit” art history teacher. that’s what she just said about herself. she cracks me up.